


A Reason to Wait

by Dekka



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Drugs, Love, M/M, Referenced Suicidal Thoughts, Weed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 13:54:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11510772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dekka/pseuds/Dekka
Summary: Tyler and Jamie get high under the stars, and Tyler realizes he's in love.***(This is basically a teaser to chapter seven of Three's a Crowd (and you totally don't need to know what happens in that story to read this one), but the chapter is a bit longer so I thought I'd post this since it's going to take a day or two! Also if you haven't read three's a crowd give it a shot!)***





	A Reason to Wait

Jamie's hand blindly searches out Tyler's chest, patting gently when he finds it. "Im happy you're here too," he says, still looking up at the stars. He doesn't mean it the way Tyler does. 

Tyler wants to get up, wants to scream, because Jamie _doesn't understand_. But Jamie's hand is warm above his heart, settling him into the ground. They'll talk later, Tyler thinks, letting his eyes slip closed.

Later feels like an eternity that somehow passes in the blink of an eye. A burst of energy is all that propels him forward, enough to have him getting quickly to his knees. He has to tell Jamie he's the best thing that's ever happened to him, that he would be nowhere without him, that he wants three dogs, and two babies, and a house that's door is always open to people like Jordie. His head goes fuzzy for a second, making him stumble from his knees, but Jamie's hands are there, like they always seem to be these days, holding him steady.

And isn't that perfect, Tyler thinks, that Jamie is able to prove his point in one motion. "Jamie you _don't understand_ ," he insists. The weed is making his thoughts jump, but he forces himself to focus. Oblivious to his turmoil, Jamie smiles sleepily under him, tugging on Tyler's arm in a way that suggests he’d be really happy if Tyler straddled his waist. Tyler’s not sure he could deny Jamie of anything, so he does, trying to ignore the content hum Jamie makes while his hands test their grip on Tyler's hips. They can go back to that later, this has to happen now. 

Tyler tries out the weight of the words he's about to say over and over again in his head. If he doesn't get Jamie to understand he doesn't know what he'll do. He entertains the thought of just proposing here and now to get his point across, but he realizes how ridiculous that is as he's trying to get on one knee while already straddling Jamie. 

The motion brings his attention back to the man in question, and just like that he's breathless, like a string’s been cut, and knows the only thing he can say.

"Jamie, you're everything," Tyler tells him, not a single ounce of doubt in his words. Jamie eyes are still half-lidded, like Tyler didn't just reveal his whole hand. Hell- he's practically given Jamie the whole deck if they're talking cards. But they're not. They're here. Tyler, again, concentrates on concentrating. He wants to remember every second of this.

"Tyler," Jamie says, like saying it is something bigger than just saying a name. Maybe he’s starting to understand. Tyler wants this, and it’s all he wants for the rest of his life, to live in this bubble with Jamie, under the stars without a care in the world.

When Jamie pulls him down to kiss him it feels like everything Tyler's been waiting his whole life for. Like every bump and downfall was all so that he could get to this moment. And God, Tyler thinks, it was all worth it.

Every night that he went to bed begging for everything to end was worth it, just to hold on to this moment. He'd take another year of pain and suffering if it meant this was his end game.

He realizes mid-kiss the severity of that train of thought, that if he ever tried to end everything he would've never met Jamie. He never would've been here, being kissed under the Dallas stars as a Dallas Star. He wouldn't have seen his life get better. It would just be cut off, over, done, dead.

It's only Jamie's comforting that makes Tyler realize he's crying into Jamie's neck. "Shhh, it's okay. I'm here. It's okay, let it out." Jamie keeps the words coming, a string of soothing whispers in his ear. The longer they stay pressed together the tighter Jamie's arms around Tyler get. There's not much that can force Tyler to tears, and there's even less that can pull him back from them, but Jamie manages with his tight grip and loving words.

Loving, Tyler thinks, is something he's not familiar with. 

He thinks this might be love. 

He can count the number of people he loves on one hand, but with Jamie on that list it feels full. Jamie needs to know, Jamie needs to understand. ”Jamie I-," Tyler starts, but finds himself unable to say it. Jamie shakes his head no, like he knows, like he’s feeling it too, and this isn't the right time. "Later," he says as a promise, kissing Tyler's cheek where tears are still dotted. Tyler can only nod back, leaving them staring into each other's eyes with a heaviness between them that feels like a warm hug instead of a pressing weight, bound to crush them before they have a chance to grow.

If Tyler could, he's sure he'd be blooming right now. There'd be giant sunflowers sprouting everywhere, with roots that would hold Jamie tight and feed off his positivity, his good will, his acceptance, his eyes, his body, his- everything, forever. And Tyler would do everything in his power to pull sunlight to Jamie, to keep him safe under his shade and warm beneath him; to need and to be needed, to protect and be protected. It’s all Tyler’s ever wanted- Jamie is all Tyler’s ever wanted. 

There’s too many words in the english language that just aren't enough to describe this feeling. He just knows he feels settled for the first time in a long time. His hands don't shake, his mind behaves, and his heart beats wildly, as if running a victory lap. This is what he lived for, and he couldn't be happier.

He isn't scared of the realization that he'd do anything for Jamie. If anything it feels good, like his life is finally not set to ruin in his own hands.


End file.
